A Drunken Mistake to Last a Lifetime
by planets-in-the-sky
Summary: What if one night, what if one mistake, could change your life forever? Would you take the opportunity, or would you hide from the truth? Eddie/Rachel relationship set in series 3... with a twist.
1. Chapter 1

**Part 1**

_Avoid him, avoid him, avoid him... Damn you Rachel, you looked! _

"Good morning Mr Lawson."

"Hi."

_Totally not awkward. _

It was a rowdy Monday morning for the staff and pupils at Waterloo Road. Over in the headmistress' office, Rachel Mason and her deputy find themselves absorbed into an uncomfortable silence. Even now so early on in the day, both could tell that the day was going to _drag_.

"So, nice weekend?" asked Rachel, desperate to brake the gloomy spell that seemed to have been cast over them.

"Hm."

Eddie scowled, she should've known full well what his weekend was like after what happen on Friday night.

Ignoring Eddie's melodramatics, Rachel proceeded on with her journey towards her desk. Settling her bags down on the floor to the right of her chair, Rachel perched herself down on the edge of the reclinable, leather seat and looked up at her miserable deputy. He was such a child at times, he needed to learn to grow up!

"Are you just gonna stand there all day or have you actually got classes to teach?" she shot at him, smirking at the reaction she was given.

"You are impossible Rachel Mason!" he fumed, turning on his heel to leave the room before dropping one last comment that wiped that smirk right off Rachel's face. "Friday night did happen you know... we can't just pretend it didn't!"

As his figure descended through the door, Rachel caught her breath in the back of her throat as her chest tightened with worry. Obviously forgetting about what happened on Friday was going to be a lot harder than she first thought. Discussing it properly like the two, sensible adults they were was going to be hard with a man like Eddie Lawson. _He_ was the impossible one. Not her! He was simply unapproachable.

Rachel was stressed. What possessed her to get _that_ drunk in the first place was what puzzled her the most. She couldn't even remember having that much but, then again, she could barely remember anything from that night. It was just one big blur. Drink was never something Rachel could take with ease. She was always such a lightweight in her younger days which is surprising if you think back to when she was a... - Rachel stopped. She'd much rather forget about that period of her life. She hated it and knew that if anyone was to find out about it, they would hate it and _her_ too.

Did Eddie make her feel like she did back then?

Was he as pushy as the clients she had; not stopping until his needs we're fulfilled?

Did he make her feel like pure filth?

Scum of the earth?

Abused?

Unwanted?

Just an object to be used as and when he wanted it?

These questions whizzed around Rachel's brain and she closed her eyes to take in the full extent of the silence. It was relaxing but did nothing to help the niggling migraine she could feel creeping up on her. Slowly, Rachel thought back and let the memories of that night wash over her like a shower of regret...

_"I think we should get you home Miss Mason..."_

_"Oooh, Mr Lawson! What are you implying? Am I too __**drunk**__ to walk alone?"_

They were flirting - badly. The drink had blocked out their senses. Slurred speech was all that could be heard. Neither really knew what they were doing.

_Leaving the pub arm-in-arm, Rachel still had her sensible head screwed on even though she was drunk. The extra support from Eddie's arm was much needed for her to steady herself from falling. She could barely walk with those heels on as it was without the disadvantage of a high alcohol consumption. _

_The cool breeze hit the couple as they somehow went off on a tangent towards Eddie's house, neither bothering to remind the other that they were supposed to be taking Rachel home to __**hers**__. That small, insignificant detail simply washed over them as they remained silent, the close proximity between them was enough for them to deal with as it was. _

_"Here we are," announced Eddie as they arrived at his front step. They were far too drunk to even register that this wasn't Rachel's house, they'd found themselves caught up in the moment. _

_A lazy, yet slightly drunken smile was passed between the pair as the mood changed dramatically. Beams of light reflected off the moon and onto Rachel's face, highlighting her beauty. Eddie came to the conclusion that he had been an idiot. Over the past three months he had spent working with this remarkable women, he had done nothing but question her existence and worry of her presence. _

She knew how to press his buttons, so, being the true gentlemen he was, Eddie happily obliged in doing the same to her. This, inevitably sparked off arguments but now, sparks were flying everywhere.

_Slowly their heads gravitated towards one another's clumsily, catching each others lips as they went. It was surreal. Tongues swept over lips in a passionate frenzy. Neither had ever felt so much want in the whole of their life's. They frantically backed into Eddie's front door, clutching onto one another for support as Eddie fumbled with his keys in the lock. The lust had taken over, and the drunken caresses had only just begun..._

Rachel's eyes shot open. She gasped. It was only now that she remembered it properly. It was vivid but it was very much real. He had cared enough for her to walk her home. If anything, _she_ was the one how took advantage of _him_. She teased him, flirted with him, invited herself into his home just to see how far his good will would stretch. Let's just say it stretched a hell of a lot more than she thought it would and by the time she had registered what was going on, she couldn't stop it. She didn't even want to. He made her feel special, like every inch of her body was on fire. For once in her life, she felt needed. Important. Desired. Eddie showed her the level of respect she had always craved for from a man. He made sure her needs were put first over his own.

When she woke up on that fateful day, she certainly wasn't expecting to fall into bed with Eddie; her deputy. They were practically sworn enemies and now, thanks to her ignorance, they had happily fell back into their normal routine of loving to hate each other. They were probably never going to get past that. It must've been written in the stone that this was the way their relationship had to be. Simply platonic.

Maybe that night, it wasn't _just_ the booze talking. Rachel was unsure as to how deep her feelings ran for her deputy. Confusion was an understatement. Her head was pounding at the thought of anything more happening between the pair of them now. She had made it quite clear the morning after how she felt about the whole situation. She was appalled. It would not be happening again, that's for sure. She couldn't risk her professionalism, it was wronger than wrong to do _that_ with your deputy. What kind of impression does that give off to the kids? A very bad one, indeed.

Rachel left that morning without so much as a word goodbye. She didn't want to hear what Eddie had to say, his excuses, his reasons. Now Rachel was kicking herself at how rude she had been back then and this time, she didn't know how to put things right.

Maybe what happened between them was a mistake but that didn't mean she had to regret it. Even if it was with a man as untidy, as unprofessional, as _infuriating_ as Eddie Lawson is... who's to say she didn't enjoy it?


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your comment GemmaMaryEllen... here is the next part!**

**Part 2**

The corridors were quiet. Third lesson was drawing to a close and Rachel had decided to take her regular stroll around the school; observing lessons as she passed, monitoring pupil progress in the cooler, keeping an eye on a certain Mr Lawson...

As if on cue, Rachel arrived abruptly outside Eddie's classroom and cast a glance through the window in his door. On the board, Eddie was writing out an explanation to something mathematical (what else did she expect?) whilst engaging the rest of his pupils in his class. Rachel was quite literally astounded at his seemingly flawless teaching methods. Right from the start, Rachel knew not to fault his teaching ability but she had never before seen it so up-close. He was a superb teacher and it really did take skill for a teacher a Waterloo Road to keep their pupils on task. Most of the kids were easily distracted but in Mr Lawson's class, they knew getting in trouble was the last thing they wanted to do.

Still oblivious to Rachel's presence outside his classroom, Eddie carried on with his lesson, smirking to himself at how well-behaved the children were being today. It had been one of the few classes he had had in months were not one student had been sent out to the cooler. He'd broke the habit of a lifetime.

A couple of minutes later, the school bell rang signalling the start of fourth period. This startled Rachel slightly and made her inwardly cringe at her actions. She had been stood there watching Eddie for at least five minutes like some derange stalker. What was wrong with her? As the pupils filled out of class, Rachel silently slid inside Eddie's classroom and waited until it emptied before daring to speak.

"Hi," she said timidly.

Immediately at the sound of Rachel's voice, Eddie popped his head up from out of the book he was reading and set his gaze upon Rachel's. Smiling sheepishly, he gestured for her to take a seat on one of the nearby chairs but instead, Rachel found herself happily perching on the edge of the desk directly facing Eddie's. She wanted to gage a reaction. She needed to see his facial expressions clearly.

"About Friday..." she began only to be interrupted by Eddie, quickly. Almost _too_ quickly.

"Friday was a mistake", he spoke firmly without a hint of hesitation detected in his voice. It was almost as if he had rehearsed those four words over and over inside his head just so he could find the perfect a way of saying them without raising a suspicion. Truth be told, _he had_.

"Right," replied Rachel, feeling slightly crushed at his tone of voice. "I guess we can just move on and forget about it then?"

"Most defiantly," Eddie agreed giving Rachel back the same amount of professionalism she had given him. "We wouldn't want it effecting our working relationship now, would we?"

Sarcasm. Oh, how she loved it. It was like the most common sense of denial she knew existed. Rachel could tell from a mile off how badly she had bruised his ego. Eddie was hurt and Rachel knew she should feel guilty yet she couldn't bring herself to. His martyr act was too comical to take pity on.

"No we wouldn't," sighed Rachel simply, adding in even more sarcasm than he had. "I'll leave you be then. I see you've got a lot work to be getting on with."

"Well you know me, Miss Mason," added Eddie, sticking in the knife by addressing her formally. "No rest for the wicked, eh?"

"No."

Rachel turned and left. If that was his way of dealing with things, then fine! Why should she have a problem with it? It's not like she cared! Trotting down the corridors, the only sound that could be heard for miles was the clicking of Rachel's heels against the wooden floor. She was angry. Angry at Eddie. Angry at herself. The first person to stand in her way was sure to feel her wrath.

It's a shame Steph had to be walking the same way as Rachel did that morning...


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the comments again guys!**

**Part 3**

"I don't know what's wrong with that women. She's been snapping at me all week for no apparent reason! It's not my fault she can't control her anger, is it? I'm just an innocent bystander..."

Steph was having a rant... about Rachel. Her _boss_. She was sliding down a very slippery slope. She just had to pray to God what no one else but Grantly overheard her little rave.

"I'd say call the union," said Grantly dryly, glancing up from his racing paper to throw a glance of sympathy towards Steph. "Abuse from your employer should not be taken lightly Stephanie. It should be made against the law."

"Well, it's not," replied Steph halfhearted with a sigh. "I just wish she'd find someone her own size to pick on and stop taking everything out on me!"

As soon as Steph finished her sentence, the bell for morning registration echoed through the staff room.

"I'd best be off," said Steph excusing herself.

She just hoped that for once, she wouldn't get in Rachel's way that day...

* * *

"Ria... No, seriously... There is nothing wrong with our management team... We don't need to 'bond' at all... Yes, of course but that isn't the point... Well, fine... Anything for the school... When?... What?... That soon?... Fine, I'll tell him... Thanks... Yeah... Bye..."

Slamming the phone down on the receiver, Rachel let out an exasperated sigh. She thought that with her running the school, _she_ wouldn't get bossed about at all. She was wrong. The LEA were on her back because apparently they were 'concerned' for the seemingly 'strained' relationship between head and deputy at Waterloo Road. Who were they to tell _her_ how to behave? If she didn't get on with Eddie, she didn't get on with Eddie. A weekend full of conferences in the capital of England was hardly going to change that. How they even knew about the problems they were having was completely beyond her in the first place. Steph Haydock was their source of information, no doubt. The gossip of the school.

Pulling back her chair in annoyance, Rachel got up and began to pace the room. She never could control her anger these days. Poor Steph had become like a punch bag to the troubled headmistress when really, that job should've been Eddie's.

Eddie. Oh yes. She'd almost forgot about him. It had been a week since their little... _slip-up_... back at his place and all week they had been avoiding each other with the greatest of success. It was now Friday and not so much as a word had been uttered between the pair that wasn't sugar-coated with formality or was instantly related to work. It was stressing Rachel out.

"Bridget. Please can you send Mr Lawson to my office during his next free?" called Rachel through to her secretary who stuck her head through the glass panel in the wall to greet her employer.

"Yes of course Miss Mason," replied Bridget with a smile as she put the office phone to her ear, dialling out Eddie's number as she did so.

* * *

"So Miss Mason, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

She could sock him one sometimes. She really could sock him one.

"Sit down please," ordered Rachel dryly.

Throwing her arms behind her head on her office chair, Rachel resisted the urge to put her feet up on the table, especially if they were keeping things professional. She watch like a hawk as Eddie clicked the door shut behind him and entered the room, his face like thunder at the prospect of having to spend his free lesson with none other than the delightful Rachel Mason. He didn't even understand why he was here.

"Are you not going to sit?" asked Rachel, rolling her eyes. Her impatient streak was beginning to show.

"I'm alright standing, thank you. This won't take long will it?" enquired Eddie hopefully.

_I hope it flaming won't._

They both simultaneously thought the same thing.

"No Mr Lawson, it won't with any luck."

"Right so what's this about?" asked Eddie. Even _his_ impatient streak was beginning to show.

"The LEA have decided that you and I should take part in a residential course in London next month."

"Oh, ok."

Eddie was confused and slightly peeved off at the idea of having to spend a whole weekend in the company of Rachel and _just_ Rachel, especially when they were being so cold to one another.

"I told them that we didn't need it. Apparently, it's to help improve out our presumably tattered relationship. What do they know? Our relationship's fine!" ranted Rachel.

_Course, it is. _

"Hm, I agree," replied Eddie unconvincingly.

"I know right," Rachel snapped, before sighing to release what was left of her anger. Somehow Eddie had calmed her though she'd never admit it to him. "But we still have to go."

"It shouldn't be a problem, should it?"

"No, it shouldn't. I mean if you drive and I book the hotel, what could go wrong?" asked Rachel rhetorically.

Little did she know _a lot_ could go wrong.


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's the next part everyone! I hope you like it, thank you for your interest so far. It really means a lot ;)**

**Part 4**

_Keys? Check. _

_Bags? Check. _

_Luggage? Check. _

_Ready? As I'll ever be..._

It was 5am on the morning Eddie and Rachel were preparing to set off for their conference up in London. Needless to say, neither were particularly thrilled at the prospect of having to spend a whole weekend together. Their brains weren't even switched on properly at this time in the morning. Eddie was surprised he could manage driving so early.

"Sorry about that."

Rachel stole Eddie from his thoughts as she _finally_ decided to make an appearance. Clicking the passenger door shut behind her, Rachel cast a small smile Eddie's way before ducking her head down in shame. He didn't cast one back.

"Got everything?" he enquired groggily. Eddie Lawson was _not_ a morning person - Rachel knew this all too well.

"Yep. We're all set."

"Then off we go."

The next four hours were not going to pass with ease...

* * *

Two hours into the journey, Rachel was beginning to get restless. Having not slept much the night before, Rachel was finding it increasingly hard to keep her eyes open. She could barely fall asleep on Eddie though, that would've been rude.

"Are you ok?" asked Eddie, genuinely concerned. Rachel's fidgeting was beginning to put him off his driving.

"Fine." snapped Rachel quickly. Eddie raised an unconvinced eyebrow causing her to soften slightly with her next reply. "I'm fine."

"Good."

The car fell silent. The sun was only just starting to rise from behind the hills in the distance. It was nearing on 7 o'clock - still way too early for anyone to be functioning.

"So..." began Eddie awkwardly. He never could stand silences.

"Nice whether we're having," Rachel offered as a mediocre answer causing the pair to chuckle at how stupid this conversation was.

"What were you thinking of doing whilst we're down in London?" asked Eddie willing to create a conversation. "You know, besides being stuck with me?"

Rachel giggled. They were both well and truly stuck with each other.

"Maybe a little shopping," she replied with a smirk. Maybe she could drag Eddie along with her... She could imagine his face now; _horrified_.

"Oh good Lord!"

"What!" Rachel scoffed. "We're going to the capital of the country. All the best shops are there! I'm hardly going to pass up the opportunity to have a mooch around them, am I?"

"I suppose not."

Shrugging, Eddie focused his attention back on the road. Slowly but surely, he could feel the ice between them melting. Maybe this weekend was going to easier than he thought. He may possibly enjoy it.

"I forgot to thank you before, but yeah... thanks for this... taking us. It's much simpler going in one car rather than two. And don't worry, I'll pay half the petrol money once we get there."

"It's fine Rach, seriously. It's a pleasure."

A smile was passed between the pair. That had been the first time in almost a month since Eddie had called Rachel by her first name, never mind a shortened version of it. For some reason, Rachel couldn't help but grin at the way Eddie called her 'Rach'. She felt... _special_ - again. He'd only used one word yet Rachel's heartbeat had increased immensely. What was happening to her? She was actually scared.


	5. Chapter 5

**Part 5**

Dinnertime. Eddie pulled up outside the hotel they were going to be staying in for the weekend and look over at the passenger seat to find Rachel fast asleep. Her head lent delicately against the window as her mouth opened and closed every so often to let out a soft snore.

Carefully, Eddie undid his seatbelt and got out of the car. Observing the hotel in front of him, Eddie smirked. It was quite posh, but what did he expect? Rachel was a high-maintenance girl. She was hardly going to pick a Travel Lodge, was she?

Striding round to Rachel's side of the car, Eddie opened the door and bent down to her level. Instinctively brushing a few stray locks of hair behind her ear, he leaned in close, whispering for her to wake her up.

"Rach? Rachel? We're here. Time to wake up."

At the sound of Eddie's voice, Rachel's eyes shot open within an instant. Blushing with embarrassment at the close proximity between them, Rachel yawned and grinned at him sheepishly, making her excuses.

"Sorry, how rude. I must've dosed off."

"It's fine. We best check in then," replied Eddie standing back up and moving round to the boot of the car to retrieve their bags.

"Come on sleepyhead!" he called back to Rachel causing her to smirk. Maybe they could get along after all...

* * *

"What do you mean we've only booked one room!?" exclaimed Rachel, letting out a sigh of anger as she finished her sentence.

"Madam, please calm down," warned the snobby hotel assistant. She was a women in her late-forties with short, brown hair cut sharply into a bob. "Let me have a look on the system to double-check."

"Fine!"

Casting a glance back at Eddie, Rachel rolled her eyes causing Eddie to stifle a laugh. He loved it when she was angry. She looked so... _sexy_.

"I'm sorry Madame but there is only one room available in your name," explained the assistant, annoyance displayed in her features. She was right the first time.

"You know what? This is pathetic!" fused Rachel. "I booked two rooms for a reason, you know? When arrived here, I expected get what I paid for."

"You haven't paid for anything yet, love," pointed out the assistant smugly.

"Yes, well, please could you tell us if you've got another room available for me to stay in," asked Eddie as politely as possible. He could sense Rachel's anger rising within her. He'd been on the receiving of that on numerous occasions; he didn't want to cause a scene no matter how much he felt the assistant deserved it.

"Sorry Sir but there are no other rooms available this weekend."

"WHAT!?"

Rachel was beyond angry now.

Silencing what could've been a full-blown rant, Eddie put a finger to Rachel's lips, not even looking at her face to gage a reaction. She wouldn't take to this action lightly.

"I guess we'll just have to make do," he reasoned, holding out his free hand to grasp hold of the room key. "Come on Rach, we need to unpack."

* * *

"Can you believe her!? I mean, who does she think she is? How people like her can get jobs where you have to be _sociable_ is completely beyond me... I mean - "

Rachel was interrupted, _rudely_.

"Rachel, could you please just shut up about it? It's over. Our next problem is working out how our sleeping arrangements are going to go," sighed Eddie, eyeing up the king sized bed placed directly in the middle of the room.

Dumping both sets of luggage by the door, Eddie entered the room fully and wasted no time in making himself comfortable. Practically jumping onto the bed causing ripples to rip through the deep purple bed sheets, Eddie fixed eyes with Rachel. She glared at him. She hated how easy-going he was being right now.

"Eddie, stop fooling around!" she scolded.

"Sorry!"

Rising from off the bed, Eddie held his arms up in surrender. Rachel smirked. He was forgiven.

"I'll sleep on the coach if you like," he offered though he knew that was the last thing he should be doing with his bad back.

"No, no, no," said Rachel. "We could... maybe... you know, share the bed?"

Eddie shot Rachel a questioning look. Never in his life had he thought Rachel Mason would be willing to share a bed with him. Was he dreaming?

"Only if you want to, though!" exclaimed Rachel quickly, suspecting she had put her foot in it.

"Ok..."

Eddie was unsure on how to react.

"Ok...?" repeated Rachel, a hint of a question found in her voice. "I mean if you keep your hands to yourself, we shouldn't have a problem."

"Same goes for you, Miss Mason," teased Eddie, the memories of that fateful evening seemingly forgotten.

_If only it were that simple. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Keep the comments coming guys! They really make me smile(:**

**Part 6**

"Are you ready to go then?"

Hours had passed; it was now six thirty-five and the first conference of the weekend was fast approaching. Rachel, being the sensible one - _as always_ - had coincidentally booked their room (or what she thought at the time; _rooms_) in the same hotel the conferences were being held in.

_Good thinking._

Soon enough, Rachel remerged from the en-suite bathroom. Dressed in a pristine white blouse, a deep purple pencil skirt (that surprisingly matched with the bed sheets) and a simple black belt to top it all off, Rachel was unaware of the effect she was having on Eddie as she brushed past him in the doorway to retrieve her shoes by the dressing table.

"You look... you look... you look nice..." complimented Eddie, stumbling over his words.

_Totally not awkward. _

"Thanks," brushed off Rachel, a dark shade of red creeping up on her face and neck. Eddie wasn't far behind.

"Are you ready to go yet?" asked Eddie for a second time. They needed a distraction from his latest slip-up.

"Of course. Come on Edward!"

* * *

And before Eddie could protest against it, she was gone.

The conference was... _boring_. Boring to say the least. It was now eleven o'clock, four whole hours since they had arrived at the conference and neither were happy about what they'd just had to endure. Countless talk on school budgets, new extra-curricular activity ideas, a new running track for the PE department... Rachel was unsure how this was going to help strengthen her working relationship with Eddie. It seemed bonkers.

Walking back up to the hotel room after a quiet drink downstairs with a couple of the other teachers from different schools up and down the country, Eddie and Rachel kept a sensible distance between them as they clambered up the stairs side-by-side. Both had only consumed a small amount of alcohol purposely, not needing the Dutch courage for anything that night. Sharing a bed was going to be challenging enough without any added hazards. They certainly didn't want a repeat of last time... well, that's what they told themselves anyway.

Approaching their room, Eddie grappled in his pocket to retrieve the room key before finding it and fumbling it about in the lock. Within an instant, the door pushed open causing a slight chill to hit them as they walked through the door. Eddie went over to switch the light on.

"Gosh, it's cold in here!" shivered Rachel as she removed her shoes and began walking over to the thermostat on the wall, changing the temperature to high. She sighed.

"Tell me about it," huffed Eddie, slipping off his jacket and hanging it over the back of a near-by chair.

Wandering over to where her pink hold-all was situated by the bed, Rachel routed through it before finding her black nightdress. It was silky, low-cut, not leaving much to the imagination.

_Great. _

"I'm just going to get changed in the bathroom," she announced, dreading how the rest of the night was going to go.

_This could get eventful..._

* * *

When Rachel remerged from the bathroom for the second time that day, she came back into the room to find Eddie already lay in bed with the covers half-draped over his naked torso. Rachel had been too drunk to take the full-extent of his body in before. She sobered up to the conclusion that she actually quite liked it.

"Hey."

Awakening Eddie from his thoughts, he turned on the bed to find Rachel stood there in a very skimpy nightie. He swallowed. Hard. Maybe sharing a bed wasn't such a good idea, after all...

"I can still sleep on the sofa if you want," he reminded her having sensed her discomfort at the situation. Rachel ran her fingers through her hair nervously, unable to let herself look Eddie in the eye.

"It's fine," she reassured.

_It really wasn't. _

Tentatively, Rachel tip-toed over to the bed and perched herself down on the edge. Casting a glance back at Eddie, she smiled shyly, wanting to clear the air. Once she'd pulled back the covers and got herself in, Rachel shuffled as close to the edge as possible to give herself and Eddie enough space between them. A herd of elephants could probably fit threw the gap in the bed. She was overreacting way too much.

"Are you alright Rachel?" asked Eddie from beside her, he too, unable to look his friend in the eye.

"Fine," she breathed.

Getting herself into a position as comfortable as possible, given the small amount of space she had allowed herself to have, Rachel sighed with as much content as she could muster. Tonight was _not_ going to be easy.

Eddie sunk into the mattress as the room descended into darkness. He'd switched off the bedside lamp. The curtains were already drawn, the tiny gaps between them shining through the room like a torch, highlighting each other silhouettes. They were the only features of each other they could see through the dark.

"Night Rach," whispered Eddie.

"Goodnight Eddie," whispered Rachel as she closed her eyes and drifted off into a surprisingly peaceful state of slumber...


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's a short little update for you all. :)**

* * *

**Part 7**

Rachel's eyes shot open. The smell of coffee lingered in the air of the hotel room, blocking her nostrils with the stench. She sat up, a wave of strong nausea shooting through her that she knew she couldn't ignore. She scrunched her nose up in pure disgust. She felt sick.

Witnessing this from the built-in kitchenette, Eddie creased his brow in confusion and set his gaze down to the two cups of coffee he had just made.

"Morning," he offered, studying the obvious discomfort in Rachel's face. "Coffee?"

_Coffee?_

Just the thought of _coffee_ made her want to heave. She needed to be sick. Leaping from the bed, Rachel sprinted over to the bathroom and threw her head over the toilet bowl. Soon enough, the overwhelming rush of vomit became too much. She threw up into the bowl as tears pricked the back of her eyes. It hurt.

"Charming," muttered Eddie but it didn't stop him coming after her, holding her hair away from her face and rubbing a soothing hand down her back as she continued to empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

It felt... _weird_. Weird to say the least.

"I'm so sorry," Rachel murmured. Tears had began to take their course down her face but the urge to vomit had gone as she cast her gaze up to look at Eddie with pleading eyes.

"Don't worry about it Rach," he replied with a slight smile. "Are you ok?"

"I think."

Eddie let go of her shaking body as Rachel picked herself up off the floor and wiped her her mouth with some tissue before chucking it into the toilet bowl and flushing. She brought a hand up to her sweaty forehead though she no longer felt ill.

"It was probably something I ate," she confessed but Rachel didn't really know why she'd just been sick, she hadn't ate anything in hours.

"Either that or a stomach bug," reasoned Eddie before leaving the room, and Rachel to collect her thoughts; _alone_.

_What is wrong with me?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Part 8**

The day had passed almost as soon as it came. It was now almost seven o'clock. Surprisingly, after emptying the contents of her stomach earlier on in the day, Rachel felt much better.

_Until now. _

Having spent the day roaming around London's high street, Rachel couldn't help but treat herself to a brand new dress. She never could resist temptation... The classic, knee-high frock hung flatteringly around Rachel's curves. It was dark green, complete with a zip down half the length of her back. And now, as she tried to zip it up backwards, dizziness took hold. She felt exhausted; she'd barely even done anything.

"Stupid thing," she cursed at the zip. It was stuck.

_Great. _

All of a sudden, the door shot open, catching Rachel off guard. Her heart skipped a beat as Eddie strolled in casually, oblivious to Rachel's discomfort, as he settled down the room key on the dressing table.

"Hey."

"_Hey_!?" Rachel felt as though she was going to explode with anger. The colour was slowly rising up in her cheeks. "You walk in here, unannounced, and the best you can do is _hey_!? Ever heard of knocking!?"

Eddie resisted the urge to chuckle as Rachel put a disapproving hand to her hip. He could never take he seriously when she did that but instead of letting it out, he simply shook his head in disbelief. She needed anger management or something.

"Sorry," he muttered.

_What for?_ It was his room too.

"It's fine," sighed Rachel. Maybe she had overreacted... "I'm sorry. I'm just stressed that's all."

"I can see," teased Eddie.

They shared a smile. All was forgiven.

"Here. Let me."

Noticing the struggle Rachel was having with her zip, Eddie crossed the room to meet her, gently placing a hand to her bare shoulder as he began to ease the zip up her back with the other. Just the slight contact of skin-to-skin caused both of them to tingle inside and out. It was almost unbearable.

"There you are," whispered Eddie into Rachel's hair as the zip caught onto the fastener. She couldn't help but shiver with excitement.

He placed both his hand onto Rachel's shoulders and gave them a quick squeeze as if to relieve the obvious tension she had in them, before scurrying off to the other side of the room. Both couldn't help but blush at they moment they'd just shared.

"Eddie, about - "

Before Rachel could finish her sentence, the phone neither of them knew was in the room rang, cutting through their truce like a knife. Sighing, Eddie made his way back over to Rachel's side of the room and picked the phone up off the receiver it was rested on against the bedside table.

"Hello... Yes, that's us... No... What is it?... No!?... Really... Oh, right... Well, thanks for telling us... Yep... You too... Okay then... Bye..."

Waiting expectantly for a response, Rachel raised her eyebrows up in question.

"Who was that?" she asked, uncharacteristically patient for her.

"Do you remember Bill and Roger from last night?" Rachel nodded, eager to know more. Bill and Roger were head and deputy at a local school up in Yorkshire. They'd been for a drink with them the night before.

"Well that was them," explained Eddie. "The conference for today has been cancelled, apparently!"

"_Cancelled_!?" Rachel could barely believe her ears. The whole purpose of this trip was to go on the conferences. How could they cancel them? It defeated the object.

"Yep. It's unbelievable, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

Rachel sat down on the bed and brought a hand up to message her temple. She still felt dizzy and a headache was most defiantly on the horizon. Actually, the conference being cancelled was probably a good thing. She really didn't feel up to it anyway.

"Are you ok?" asked Eddie concerned. It seemed to be all he ever said to her these days.

"Mm, I'm fine thanks. Just tired."

"That's what they all say," he teased.

"Shut up."

Knowing not to answer back to Rachel Mason - even if it was in a play argument - Eddie decided to swiftly change the subject.

"So, what are you going to do now then?"

"I might just be a spoilsport and get in bed, read for a bit. I'm really not up for a night on the tiles," admitted Rachel.

"Oh. Fair enough."

That messed Eddie's mental plan he had just created of taking her out to sightsee the capital.

"What about you?"

"Nothing. I may just go and join the others for a drink downstairs," Eddie sighed, defeatedly.

That prospect wasn't exactly... _thrilling_.

"Oh ok," replied Rachel, smiling.

"But, of course, you could always come and join us if you wanted to," added Eddie as he went to leave the room. "The offer's always open."

"Thanks Eddie," called Rachel as Eddie shut the door on her, leaving her alone; _again_. "You're a star."


	9. Chapter 9

**Part 9**

_What is wrong with me?_

_What is wrong with me?_

_What is wrong with me?_

"Rachel?"

A soft knock on the door awakened Rachel from her thoughts.

"Rachel, are you alright? You've been in there a while."

She sighed; deeply.

_Are you alright?_ She really didn't know.

"Fine thanks Eddie," she called back from behind the locked door. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Ok," was the simple response.

Throwing her head back in annoyance, Rachel resisted the urge to cry. She'd been sick again this morning and now, the simple reasons, the stupid excuses, the basic lies she had conjured up in her head seemed much less believable. She hadn't ate anything dodgy. She didn't have a stomach bug.

_What is wrong with me?_

Picking herself up from off the floor, Rachel flushed the toilet forcefully and went over towards the sink. There, in the mirror, she saw her reflection stare right back at her. She looked drained, tired, and for the first time in her life, Rachel Mason had bags under her eyes.

She looked... _old_.

"Oh my..."

Confidence was not something Rachel had a lot in when it came down to her appearance. With everything else, yes, she was seemingly indestructible but the one thing she _always_ worried about was the way she looked. Countless times she had been told by her mother and sister that she there wasn't a problem but she couldn't let herself believe them. They were family; they told her what she wanted to hear. The only person's judgement Rachel could trust 100% was her own.

Wallowing in self-pity; Rachel hated it. She was doing it right now. _Hypocrite_. It was time to face the music. Prising herself away from her reflection, Rachel reached for the bathroom lock and eased it open. Standing on the other side of the door, Eddie waited patiently for the women in question to return into the room. Within an instant, Rachel opened the door and greeted him with her signature fake smile.

"Hey."

"Rachel, are you sure you're alright?" queried Eddie, completely dismissing her welcome.

"Er... yeah." It was all she could muster when put on the spot.

"I don't mean to pry or anything..." Rachel raised a disbelieving eyebrow; that's usually what people say before they pry. "... but you weren't sick again, were you?"

Rachel bowed her head. Eddie didn't need an answer; he saw it right there. He saw a lot of things actually. Some things that made the butterflies in his stomach rise and flutter against his ribcage. It all made sense now; the mood swings, the morning sickness, the tiresome behaviour...

"I think you're pregnant, Rachel."

Silence.

Rachel gasped. She couldn't possibly be pregnant... how dare he! How dare he tell her what she was and what she wasn't.

"What!?" she spat. "How has it got anything to do with you if I am!?"

Receiving a glare, Rachel remembered. Of course. If she was pregnant, if she was carrying a child; it'd be _his_ child. She couldn't let him see how this was effecting her. Her heart felt like it was going to explode with the stress.

"So what, Eddie!? I'm not pregnant! What are you trying to say; I'm fat?"

"No. And you know that's not what I mean!" sighed Eddie as sincerely as possible. "It's just... you've had all the symptoms, Rachel. The morning sickness, the irritability - "

Rachel had heard enough.

"Eddie, has it ever occurred to you that that just might be the way I am?" she exclaimed with anger. "Besides... who made you such a good judge at identifying signs of pregnancy, eh?"

Rolling his eyes, Eddie scoffed. She was so in denial. Maybe Rachel was pregnant, but maybe she wasn't. Either way, standing here arguing about it wasn't going to change anything. Having already dressed minutes before, Eddie reached for his coat and put it around his shoulders forcefully.

"Where are you going?" asked Rachel quietly. The realism of the situation had finally hit her. This wasn't a game.

"To get a pregnancy test. We're gonna sort this out once and for all, Rachel." Eddie exclaimed as calmly as possibly. He could feel himself physically shaking. "It's the only way we can find out."

_Pregnancy_.

Rachel couldn't handle a child whether she was pregnant or not. She felt sick all over again.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for not updating in a while! I hope this makes up for it. Thank you for your comments :)**

**Part 10**

"Here's the test. Take it."

Forcibly passing the pharmacy bag over to a still very much bewildered Rachel, Eddie sighed and sat himself down on the bed. Rachel stayed stood beside the bathroom door, toying with the bag as she peered inside to view the contents; a pregnancy test.

"What... now?" she asked uncertain, dread rushing through her entire body.

"Now is as good a time as any," Eddie informed her plainly, not in the mood for another argument, not now things had gotten so serious between the pair.

"Fine!"

Like a tantrum stricken child, Rachel stormed into the bathroom and locked the door securely behind her. She could not believe she had to this. Of course she wasn't pregnant... Rachel may have been drunk at the time this _supposed_ child was conceived but she certainly wasn't stupid. She would've been careful and used protection. She just knew it, but now, Rachel had to prove that she _was_ right after all. The look on Eddie's face after she proved him wrong was going to be priceless...

* * *

_3 minutes_.

Those three minutes had been the longest three minutes Rachel had ever had to experienced in her whole entire life. Perching herself down on the edge of the bath tub, Rachel buried her head in her hands, the stress becoming too much. Beside her lay the pregnancy test turned upside down. The confidence she had before was had had lost. What if she _was_ pregnant? What if the test did come back positive? What if... -

_Stop_.

Rachel couldn't think negatively; not now. Pushing all her niggling thoughts of uncertainty to the back of her mind, she brought her head back up from out of her hands to view the results. Her body was shaking, her heart beating faster than it ever had before. She turned over the test...

_Positive_.

"****!"

_Oh no. _

"Rachel? Are you alright in there?"

It seemed Rachel was a little louder than she had first anticipated.

"I'm fine, Eddie!" she barked back through the closed door. "I won't never a second!"

_What on earth am I going to do?_

Scanning vigorously through the pharmacy bag she'd left abandoned by the bathroom sink, Rachel felt her heart sink at what she found. Actually, it was more of a case of what she _didn't_ find. Eddie, being the clueless man he was, had only bought one pregnancy test. How can you be sure off one pregnancy test? You hear cases all the time about about them not being right the first time. So, with that knowledge, Rachel concluded that she wasn't pregnant. Of course she wasn't, the test was wrong.

If she _was_ pregnant, it was odd's on that she'd know. It was _her_ body, after all. She didn't feel any different in herself, in the way she looked, in her attitude... the test had simply got it wrong in her eyes. She wasn't pregnant. Rachel Mason was not going to be a mother; not now, not ever. She'd entered some sort of state of denial.

Quickly gathering the test into her pocket, Rachel breathed a sigh of relief. The test had got it wrong. She wasn't pregnant at all. Now all she had to do was face Eddie... and lie.

"So...?"

Rachel opened the door to find Eddie stalking in the doorway. She suddenly felt butterflies rise within her stomach. The guilt was eating away at her but she had to tell the truth; _her_ truth. She knew her body better than some stick did.

"I'm not pregnant Eddie," she said quietly, searching his face for a reaction.

"Oh."

He sat down on the bed again and creased his brow up into a confused expression.

"Say something?" Rachel pressed on, confusion controlling her features as well as Eddie's.

"Rachel. I don't know what to say," he began truthfully, staring her directly in the eye. "I mean... God... I can't believe you're not pregnant..."

"The test is negative," lied Rachel, hoping this would be a comfort. It did nothing.

"I'm so sorry. I should've never have jumped to conclusions."

"It's fine," assured Rachel with a slight smile. She felt sick with all the lies she had created. "You weren't to know... neither of us were."

"But still."

An awkward silence fell. Eddie had no idea how to feel.

_Happy?_

_Relieved?_

_Disappointed?_

Secretly, he was thrilled at the prospect of being a father again. After Michael and Steven, he figured that he'd do things rightly a third time. He understood that he had done wrong with the twins. He could've been a much better dad. He wanted to start over this time but the opportunity had come and gone. The hope he held had been shattered. Rachel _wasn't_ pregnant. That's what he had been told, so why wouldn't he believe it?

"How are you feeling?", Rachel asked softly even though she herself didn't know what to feel.

The stunned expression on Eddie's face was nerving Rachel slightly. She sat beside him on the bed, not once removing her eyes from him in the fear that if he did react sometime soon, she'd miss it.

"I don't know Rachel. I mean, the thought of being a dad again... I don't know it - "

Rachel interrupted him mid-sentence; stunned.

"What do you mean _again_?"

Breathing heavily, Eddie smiled sheepishly.

"I have kids, Rachel. But I can't see them and it's through no one's fault but my own..."


	11. Chapter 11

**Here's a short, fillery part for you all. Thank you to those of you who have stuck with this fic! And don't worry, this musical idea is going somewhere... Comments are always appreciated :)**

**Part 11**

It was the following Monday morning and Rachel was already up and dressed before 7.30, ready for the school day ahead. Ever since the past weekend's events, she had tried to push the thoughts of pregnancy to the back of her mind.

_It wasn't working. _

Her every living thought ran back into the prospect of motherhood somewhere along the line, the fact that she had lied to Eddie frightened her. What else could she be capable of? All she seemed to do these days was lie and deceit and betray those who really just wanted to help. Eddie was an easy target for her cover-ups, he was far too kind to see through her act.

* * *

Over on the other side of Rochdale, Eddie Lawson had just rolled out of bed after the menacing shills of his alarm clock had become too much to bare. Today, he knew he had to do everything in his power to avoid Rachel. He'd done wrong. Accusing her of being pregnant was a huge mistake. It was rude, inexcusable, harsh... she couldn't forgive him that easily, _surely_.

* * *

"Good morning Eddie," said Rachel with a wide grin, hoping this would disguise her obvious discomfort around her deputy.

She had purposely waited by her car for him to turn into the school gates this morning a whole ten minutes after she had; it was their normal routine. Slowly parking his car besides Rachel's, Eddie looked out through the dashboard nervously, observing the empty playground around him. The only people around for miles were himself and Rachel. This was the one situation he really didn't want to be in.

"Hi Rachel," he replied as he clambered out of, what Rachel considered as being a tin can, with his briefcase clasped firmly in his right hand.

"Are you going to be venturing out to observe the auditions for Matt's musical today?" Rachel couldn't help but cringe at her pathetic excuse to create small talk.

"Yeah, I suppose." Eddie shut the car door behind him as he locked it, beginning the usual walk up into school with Rachel by his side. "Why, are you?"

"Oh yes," replied Rachel with false enthusiasm. "I've heard more than enough about it from Steph and Matt in the staffroom. I'd love to see if it works up to their _exceptional_ standards."

"Hm, they do seem to go on with themselves quite a bit."

"I agree, but if it's for the good of the school, I can't see a problem," reasoned Rachel as they made their way up to the stairs leading to the school, a more serious tone casting over the conversation. "It's nice to see the kids talents showcased for a change. We all know we're not the most academic of schools but that's not to say our kids aren't talented in different ways."

"Most defiantly."

Pulling back the door for the pair of them to step through, Eddie smiled shyly at how quickly things seemed to have been forgotten. 24 hours ago, things were so, so different yet now, it was as if nothing had ever changed.

"Thank you." Rachel giggled at Eddie's gentlemanly approach, she too, amazed and yet slightly thrilled at how easily this pregnancy scare was being out behind them.

Both knew that in the back of their minds, forgetting about what happened anytime soon was going to be easier said than done. For now, they'd put on a front because it was all they had left.

_Little did they know, this whole chapter of their lives was far from over just yet. _


	12. Chapter 12

**As always, thank you for commenting :)**

**Part 12**

The afternoon was nearing. Rachel was sat up in her office, occupied in completing the mountain full of paperwork that had mysteriously found it's way onto her desk, well aware that the auditions for Matt's musical were starting in well under ten minutes. She sat back in the chair, welcoming it's comfort ad she threw her pen aside in anger. All she seemed to do these days was paperwork. It was as if her whole life depended on it; her job did anyway.

"Bridget..." The headmistress' voice awakened her secretary from the computer screen she was engrossed in, causing her to cast her gaze up towards her employers. "I'm off out this afternoon. If anyone phones, just ask them to leave a message. Tell them I'll get back to them as soon as possible."

"Ok Miss Mason," replied Bridget with a chirpy smile. "Off out anywhere nice?"

"No, not really," said Rachel, sighing slightly as she pushed back her chair and rose to her feet, meeting Bridget in the middle of the anti-chamber of her office. "I'm just going to oversee the auditions for the musical, make sure everything's running smoothly."

"Oh, I see. Well, have a nice time!"

"I will!"

_If that's even possible. _

* * *

_"I don't mind spending everyday,_

_Out on your corner in the pouring rain,_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile,_

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile,_

_And she will be loved,_

_She will be loved."_

Brett Aspinall's mellow-toned voice greeted Rachel as she walked through the brightly colour doors of Matt's classroom. As promised, there stood Eddie, hunched over in the back of the room, watching the auditions from afar. Rachel could tell that he wasn't a big fan of musicals, but like her, would do anything to support the school - even if it did give him an unnecessary migraine he really could do without.

As she strode into the room, Rachel's eyes immediately latched onto Eddie's, causing them both to smile without a given reason. The teenagers in the room watched in awe as their headmistress worked her way round to the back of the room to sit besides her deputy, looking thoughtfully towards the front to view their auditions.

"Carry on," she urged. "Pretend I'm not here."

Doing as they were told, the pupils carried on auditioning; dancing, singing, rapping... doing everything in their power to impress Mr Wilding. Matt himself sat casually at the front of the class by the stage. He had a real grasp at the job. Rachel knew he was one of the few teachers, along with Eddie, she could never fault for his teaching ability.

"How long have you been here?" whispered Rachel in Eddie's direction, leaning over towards him slightly in order for her to hear his reply clearly.

"About 10 minutes," he said quietly, removing his eyes from the stage full of performing pupils to meet Rachel's. They smiled at each other contently.

"They're quite a talented bunch," Rachel observed.

"Hm. Brett Aspinall's ahead of a lot of them in my opinion... he's a shoo-in for the main part."

Rachel nodded in agreement as they both went back to watching the auditions, a huge surge of pride awakening in their stomach's. This was _their_ school and these pupils were amazingly and widely talented. It felt good for them to finally be put in the spotlight for all the right reasons for a change. Of course, Waterloo Road's reputation wasn't the most impressive in an academic sense but, slowly their standards were creeping their way up, highly. All thanks to Rachel Mason.

* * *

Both Eddie and Rachel remained in Matt's classroom for the rest of the afternoon, enjoying the performances the pupils had to offer. Meeting Matt by the stage, the two most senior members of staff greeted their colleague as the last of the pupils filed out; the auditions had drawn to a close.

"Any clear favourites?"

Matt gave a firm nod, a smile brimming with success adorning his features.

"Oh yes," he said. "That was... _brilliant_! I don't know where all that has come from but... _wow_! That was great!"

For once in his life, Matt Wilding was stuck for words. It really was a miracle.

"Good, good..." replied Eddie halfheartedly before trailing off onto another subject. "Where's Steph?"

"Yeah," Rachel chirped in. "I thought this was a joint thing between you and her?"

"It is," affirmed Matt. "I thought she was teaching..."

"Nope. She's had a free timetable this afternoon."

The smile Matt had held minutes previously, vanished. He was angry.

"When I get my hands on her... I swear to God..."

"Matt, calm down!" chuckled Eddie nervously only to receive a glare in his direction. Matt could be so melodramatic at times.

"I'm sure there's some reasonable explanation as to why she couldn't make it," said Rachel, inwardly rolling her eyes at Matt's childish behaviour.

"Well they're better be! She promised she'd help! I can't do this on my own!"

"And you won't. You've got the whole school behind you. Never mind Steph!"

"I suppose..."

"Exactly! Don't beat yourself up about it!"

Rachel resisted the urge to sigh hopelessly, slightly pleased at how Matt had seemingly calmed down. He had enough time to panic yet. Three weeks away from now, a Waterloo Road production would need to be ready to display on stage for parents, governors and any other visitors to the school. She was sure, Matt was brave. He'd embraced this challenge with open arms and now she feared for if he'd be able to pull it all of without having a hissy fit.

_Why can't things at this school ever run smoothly?_


	13. Chapter 13

**For LuckyStars14. And don't worry, you can start your comments with 'aww' all the time if you like! You'll have no complaints from me :D**

**Part 13**

Three weeks had passed and it was now the day the musical would preform on the big stage. The school was buzzing; party because of the upcoming theatre production and party because it was the day before the school would brake up for the Easter holidays for two weeks. Things were pretty hectic to say the least. Teachers were running around like headless chickens to get the preparations ready before showtime. Pupils were rehearsing 24/7, missing lessons in order for them to get their performances spot on. In the end, as predicted by Eddie, Brett Aspinall had been given the lead role along with Mika Grainger, much to Rachel's delight. It was time for them two to let bygones be bygones, and look forward instead of back. This musical was just what they needed in order to put the past behind them, so Rachel thought anyway.

It was break time. The majority of pupils were up in Matt's classroom rehearsing for the first performance in two hours time. The corridors were eerily quiet, the remaining pupils who weren't involved in the musical had resorted to take cover outside, well out of the way.

Parting from her office, Rachel began to roam the school, her size five heels clicking as they came into contact with the ground. She wasn't in the mood for things to go wrong today. This _had_ to be perfect. There wasn't any room left for errors.

As she turned down the corridor leading to Matt's classroom, there stood Steph, pushing her way out of her deserted classroom with her arms full of props for the musical. Neither lady were looking where they were going, causing them to collide into one another, both to each of their displeasures.

"Steph!" Rachel barked disbelievingly, stepping away slightly from the bottle blonde to observe what she was carrying. "Watch where you're going would you!"

Smirking, Steph decided to test the waters in order to gage a reaction.

"The same could be said for you Miss Mason," she teased.

Receiving a glare, Steph backed away from her boss before walking with Rachel side-by-side down the corridor up towards Matt's classroom.

"So..." Steph couldn't stand the silence they had found themselves in and decided to break it with false cheerfulness. "Are you looking forward to today's big performance, then? I guess in the words of Graham Norton, _Tonight's the Night,_ eh?"

Rachel nodded absentmindedly, inwardly rolling her eyes at Steph's forwardness. "Yeah I suppose, it's a nice change for the kids to be put in the spotlight for all the right reasons for once."

"Yeah, they're not all thicko scallies, eh?"

"Steph don't call them that!" Rachel snapped, seething with anger. That was overstepping the line a tad.

"God, I'm sorry," empathised Steph sarcastically. "What is it with you? Wrong time of the month or something?".

_"No, Steph. That's precisely the problem..."_

It was true. It _was_ her time of the month, but the time of the month hadn't come. Her period was late and the looming thought of pregnancy was overrunning her thoughts. It was seeming to get more and more realistic; _maybe_ she was pregnant. _Maybe_ the test was right. The amount of times Rachel had thought '_maybe_' throughout the past couple of weeks was simply unbelievable.

"Steph!" Rachel's voice projected through the corridors as her walking came to a standstill. "Wind your neck in would you! Please, I'm begging you."

Scoffing, Steph strutted off, the sound of her footsteps echoing in her wake. She wasn't happy at all.

_Drama queen. _

* * *

Rachel arrived in Matt's classroom not that soon after Steph and was glad to see things finally up and running. Everything was working hard, you could tell. Not one single person in that room wasn't pulling their weight, and Rachel was happy to see Eddie in there stood at the back as she walked through the door.

"What're you doing here?" she asked him as she made her way over to stand beside him.

"Probably for the same reason as you," he replied wittily, causing Rachel to raise an eyebrow up at him to talk sense. "To oversee how things are going...?"

"Yeah. Yeah... Sorry."

"It's alright."

For some reason, Rachel's mind seemed in another body. She seemed distant. _Great_, just what she needed on today of all days.

"The hall's set up nicely," announced Eddie, bringing up a topic of conversation.

"Oh good. Yeah..." Rachel voice trailed off.

_Why were things suddenly so awkward again?_

"Anyway I must dash!" she exclaimed unexpectedly, the awkwardness beginning to become too much for her to bare. "The visitors may start arriving early and I need to be up there to meet and greet!"

"The first show's in two hours," Eddie pointed out disbelievingly. "Is that just a cover-up to get away from me?"

Rachel stopped, dead. A small blush crept up onto her face. _Busted_.

"No!" she uttered. I don't know who she was trying to kid. "Of course not, it's just you know the parents of this school. Always ones to be early..."

"Hm."

_Excuses, excuses, excuses._

If he was being honest, Eddie thought the exact opposite.

"Ok. You go. I'll just stay here then," replied Eddie dejectedly.

"Great. Thank you!"

Placing a hand on the top of Eddie's arm, Rachel smiled at him brightly. He could tell she meant it. She wasn't just putting it on this time. Reluctantly letting go, she left the room leaving Eddie to crinkle his face up in confusion as she left. That women would never seize to amaze him. Her moods changed so often that he had given up on trying to pinpoint which ones she felt at certain points in time. Her mind was simply unreadable, but she wouldn't have it any other way.


	14. Chapter 14

**Part 14**

Rachel's mind had gone blank. She felt sick, and for more than one reason. Her head was pounding viciously; she needed to get away. Suddenly, without warning, she began to half-walk/half-run from her post by the door as a greeter back down towards her office. She was bewildered, and needed space. The face of a women she thought she'd never see again clouded up her mind. She was here. Tess. Tess Doyle; her best friend from when she was seventeen years old was here, at the school, waiting to see _her_ musical preform.

_What on earth could go wrong?_

As Rachel finally reached her office, she slammed the door shut behind her, not caring how loud the bang was or how startled she had caused Bridget to become. Rachel slummed herself down in her office chair, burying her head in her hands. The last time she had seen Tess was the day she had shopped them to the police. They had been prostitutes; together. And when you're on the game, you don't have many friends. All you have are the people around you; your flat mates. You're not friends by choice but all you have is each other. You understand what the other is going through. But Tess was different...

_It had been two agonising years since Amanda had first started the game and she needed to get away. She wanted a new start. After reading it up on the Internet, she decided that the best option for her and the rest of the prostitutes that were working for the agency she was at, was to shop them to the police. Of course this way, Amanda and anyone else for that matter didn't know whether this would work out or not. She and the rest of the girls who she now classed as friends could go to prison. But, at the end of it all, they'd be free from a life of prostitution and drugs. They could create their own identities. Be the person they'd always dreamt of being. _

_The day Amanda went to the police was one of the worst. The client she had had earlier on in the day had beat her senseless. She almost had to go to hospital. He had knocked her unconscious. Luckily, someone had found her lay on the curb near a dark alleyway. At that precise second she woke up, Amanda decided that she didn't want to deal with this anymore. She was going to the police. _

_It took them 48 hours to locate them all. Amanda, being the one who was willing to come out, was treated the most fairly. Many of the other prostitutes were viscous towards her so the police gave her protection. Each one spent at least a month in prison, Amanda included. Well, each one __**except**__ Tess... _

_Tess Doyle was Amanda's roommate. They shared a flat together. It stank, and was grotty. Nothing special; a bathroom, a living room, a kitchen, a bedroom each. It was tiny and I suppose that in small spaces, you have to learn to get on with the people around you even if you don't want to. You can't escape them and this was certainly the case for Amanda and Tess. They were polar opposites. Amanda had gotten into prostitution after her family had disowned her. She applied for University, only to find that the fees were too high. Being a prostitute was a way of saving up, no matter how unconventional it was. For Tess though, being a prostitute was by choice. Back home she had everything. A loving family, a suitable boyfriend, a stable career... She traded everything Amanda could ever wish for in, for Stuart. _

_Stuart Hordley was the girls' pimp. He was a handsome, witty man who was no older than 25. Most of the girls he had gotten into prostitution only did it as a favour for him. They could owe him money for drugs, or even just want to get closer to him. Some, like Amanda, just did it because they felt like they had to. For Tess, she became a prostitute to please Stuart. He was her new boyfriend, apparently they were going to get engaged soon. They probably would've done if it wasn't for Amanda calling the police. _

_The court hearing read that Stuart gotten a minimum of seven years in prison. To Amanda, that wasn't enough. He deserved so much more; he had ruined her life. Tess, because she sold drugs as well as sex, got the half the amount that her boyfriend had, much to her displeasure. Just before she was sentenced, Tess paid a little visit to Amanda. She warned her. When she got out of prison, she was coming after her. And Amanda could tell she meant it. You don't spend 2 years living with someone without gaining their understanding. Tess meant business, and that is why Amanda today goes by the name of Rachel Mason. Rachel is the women Amanda had always dreamt of being. The police gave her the identity and moved her from London to Rochdale. It was safer that way. There, she built herself up a life. The life she now knows is in danger. Tess has found her. It's been 27 years and she's finally been found. _

A knock on the door awakens Rachel from her thoughts. She jumps in surprise, bringing a hand up to cover the unsteady beating of her heart. _If this is Tess..._

Clearing her throat to speak, Rachel's croaky, uncertain voice fills the air between the door and her desk, "Hello? Who is it?"

"Rachel?"

Much to her relief, it's only Bridget. Cautiously, the secretary turns the doorknob and enters the room, a shy smile adorning her features. Rachel returns it.

"Hello Bridget," says Rachel, breathing an inward sigh of relief.

"Rachel," she replies sternly, catching her employer off guard. "Are you ok?"

"Of course!"

Rachel laughs nervously and gives off a shaky smile.

"It's just the musical... it starts in 20 minutes..."

"Oh right!"

After all the stresses of seeing Tess, Rachel had almost forgotten about that. The actual reason she had Tess in the first place...

"I must get up to the hall then!" she announces, partly to Bridget and partly to herself.

Rachel picks herself up off her chair and brushes past Bridget in the hallway.

"Rachel, are you _sure_ you're ok?" repeats Bridget. Her boss' sudden change in attitude is really starting to worry her now.

"Fine. I'm fine..."

_Even Rachel didn't know who she was trying to convince more..._


	15. Chapter 15

**Part 15**

Five minutes later, Rachel had finally made it to the hall. It was... _packed_. Rachel had never seen so many people in there at one time. It touched her heart; Matt's musical really had a positive effect on the school. Pushing past her way through the crowd, Rachel made her way towards the front to take her reserved seat by Eddie at the foot of the stage. As she made her way through, Rachel took extra care in keeping her head down, desperate to stay hidden from Tess for the time being. She was going to have to face her sooner or later, but, being the coward she now was, Rachel had decided that she'd much rather it be later than sooner.

"Hello!"

Smiling, Rachel graciously took her seat beside Eddie and turned to face him. The musical wasn't going to be starting for at least another ten minutes and she could really do with cheering up right now. Eddie always knew what to say to calm her.

"Hey. Is everything set and raring to go?" he questioned cheerily, returning the smile which Rachel couldn't help but make wider.

"Yep! I think so!" she replied, before clutching a hand to her stomach and giggling. "I've got butterflies and everything!"

"Oh, really?"

Mischievously, Eddie raised an eyebrow at Rachel as he found himself becoming lost in her eyes. He seemed to be doing that a lot recently. There was something about them... Suddenly, without warning, he reached down and began to tickle her middle. Rachel squirmed in her seat, her laughter echoing throughout the whole hall.

_So much for keeping a low profile. _

Both seemed oblivious to their surroundings. Pupils, teachers and visitors alike watched in astonishment as the two most senior members of staff had a tickle war in full view of everyone.

"Eddie... please... come on... stop it..." warned Rachel, her giggling becoming to much to handle.

"Never!"

"Pl... please!"

Eddie continued to tickle Rachel's middle until a loud coughing noise coming from behind, interrupted them. Swiftly, Eddie snatched his hands away and turned around, both his and Rachel's faces blushing a deep shade of red. They were worse than the kids...

"Do you mind?"

Eddie was met by Steph's smirking and Matt's grinning.

Great.

"Sorry Steph, Matt," said Eddie plainly. "I thought you'd be behind the curtains helping out the kids...?"

"Oh, we were," replied Matt, catching a knowing look from Steph before continuing. "We snuck out about ten minutes ago now. The musical's about to start. It seems you were a little too busy... doing Rachel."

Matt raised his eyebrows teasingly, setting Steph off in a fit of giggles. Eddie simply rolled his eyes.

_You can't do anything anymore without being questioned about it. _

Reluctantly, he turned back round in his seat to find Rachel laughing nervously at him.

"Busted," she whispered mockingly, just as the curtains drew back for the musical to begin.

* * *

The show was spectacular overall. It raised everybody's standards and contained just the right amount of drama, humour and romance. The crowd simply loved it.

"Well, that went better than expected!" announced Eddie, smiling, as the audience began to file out of the hall. The children were long gone by now. Soon enough, Eddie and Rachel would be the only ones left in the hall.

"That it was!"

Flopping herself down on a nearby chair, Rachel sighed tiresomely. The exhaustion of the day had already taken it's toll on her.

"It's an early night for you, Miss Mason!" teased Eddie as she yawned adorably. The way she scrunched up her nose when she did so caused his insides to melt.

"Whatevs. I'm fine!"

They laughed together for a second before they were interrupted. Eddie's high pitched ringtone filled the silence of the empty hall as he pulled it out of his jacket pocket, huffing exasperatedly as the caller ID flashed up on the screen.

"Sorry, Rach. I've got to take this," he explained defeatedly, receiving a nod of understanding, before slipping out of the hall and into the corridor.

"Hello! What is it!?"

Eddie made his way down the corridor before disappearing off into his classroom. As he left the hall, he failed to notice the dark haired women lingering by the doorway. Her long bobbed hair hung sharply down to her shoulders; her piercing blue eyes glistened with maliciousness. Now Rachel was alone, she could spring her plan into action. Cautiously, _Tess Doyle _made her way into the hall, creeping up on the one person she was here for. Amanda Fenshaw.

"Well Mandy, wasn't that a show to be proud of!?"

Rachel froze. The voice that she hadn't and didn't want to hear for the past 27 years sent unwelcome shivers down her spine. Daringly, she stood up from the chair she was sat at and turned to face her would-be-best-friend. She felt sick. Tess hadn't aged a day. It seemed prison life had done nothing to fault her spiteful front.

"Who'd have thought it, eh? Amanda Fenshaw... ex-prostitute... head teacher of Waterloo Road..." sneered Tess.

Rachel flinched at her words, still remaining silent. She really didn't know what to say. It hurt too much to open her mouth.

"You always did think of yourself as something better than rest of us," Tess carried on, her words seeping with poison. She was pleased at the effect she was having on Rachel; her obvious distress was displayed on her facial expressions. "Are hookers even allowed to work in schools?"

"You're a fine one to talk!"

That was the final straw. Rachel suddenly found her voice again and put it to good use, knocking Tess aback slightly. There wasn't one thing Rachel hated more in the world than hypocrites. _Bloody hypocrites. _

"And for the record Tess, my name is _Rachel_. Rachel Mason," she corrected.

"Okay then, _Rachel_..." Taking a step closer, Tess smirked into Rachel's face; her breath lingering in the air between them. "Am I right in thinking your little 'friends' here _don't_ know about your sordid past?" Rachel gave a slight nod, fearful as to what was coming next. "And you'd like to keep it that way?" Tess received another nod. "Right, now we're on the same page, I want to offer you a proposition..."

Now her point had been received loud and clear, Tess backed away, allowing Rachel room to breathe. She inwardly sighed a breath of relief before sitting herself back down on the chair to her left, scared she may collapse with the pressure of everything. She felt faint all over again.

"What's this proposition, Tess!?" questioned Rachel, with a scoff. "Go and on! Spit it out!"

"Pay me £5,000 by the end of next week, and I won't speak a word to anyone about your little life as Amanda..."

"That's blackmail!" exclaimed Rachel. "You could go to prison... _again_!"

A pregnant pause was given as each lady took in the full extend of everything that had just been said. Nothing was looking good for either party. Never mind a win/win situation. At the moment, things were looking more like a loose/loose situation than anything else.

"I've been to prison before. It's no big deal..." reasoned Tess stone-faced, though her fear was displayed through her trembling limbs.

_No. Big. Deal._

"I was in prison for a month and that almost finished me off. Never mind 3 years, Tess! How did you cope?"

"You get used to it..." Tess smirked, knowing just how to twist in the knife. "Stuart and I both did. Our relationship came out much stronger once we were freed. I don't think he'd be too pleased to find you refusing to abide by our needs..."

_Stuart. I should've known he was involved in this somewhere along the line. _

"You're still with that scum?" Rachel questioned disbelievingly.

"Yes. Stuart and I are engaged." Tess gave off a genuine smile. Rachel felt her stomach flip. "He's really protective over me, you know... If you weren't to go along with our plan, Stuart may have to pay you a little visit."

Rachel felt her blood turn to ice. She never wanted to see that man again, the thought caused her legs to buck from underneath her.

"So, £5,000 by next Friday?"

All Rachel could do was nod out of fear. £5,000 was a small price to pay if it meant Stuart Hordley would stay well away. She couldn't cope with seeing him all over again. He'd already ruined her life once.


	16. Chapter 16

**For my usual commenters and my newbie, Amelia. Thank you so for your lovely comments! :D**

**Part 16**

_Thursday._

Rachel was sat at home in her study, tapping away on the keys of her laptop. _Paperwork_. She hadn't done much else these holidays. The boredom was slowly eating at her. She needed to do something; get out of the house, go and meet up with some people. But, she knew she couldn't. Things weren't that simple. Rachel was too fearful as to whether she'd see Tess again, or maybe even worse... _Stuart_.

Sighing, Rachel reached down to pull her mobile out from her bag which was sat beside her feet on the floor below. On retrieving it, she quickly unlocked it and dialled the one number she knew would help keep her sanity.

"Oh god, Eddie. I'm so bored!"

Putting the phone to her ear, Rachel heard some sort of shuffling noise in the background on the other end.

"And hello to you too, Rachel," came the cheeky response after a short pause.

Rachel smirked, somehow instantly relaxed at the sound of Eddie's voice.

"Sorry Eddie, hello," she corrected with a hint of sarcasm.

"Three guesses as to what you're doing?"

"Okay...?"

"Guess 1... paperwork? Guess 2... even more paperwork? And guess 3, oh well I don't know, maybe a little bit _more_ paperwork!?"

Rachel giggled into the receiver before putting on her stern, no nonsense head mistress voice.

"Alright smart ****! I have no life. What do you intend on doing about it?" she teased.

Eddie paused for a second and swallowed hard. This could either go really well or badly wrong...

"How about I take you out to the pub tonight?" he asked nervously; his voice shaking hesitantly.

"Tonight?" Rachel repeated uncertain, her lips breaking out into a genuine smile.

_Is he actually asking me out?_

"Yeah, tonight," Eddie confirmed, weakly. "If you're not busy that is?"

Rachel felt her heart drop regretfully. _Idiot_. The one time she actually wanted to go out and enjoy herself, she couldn't. If she was spotted by Tess, she'd get so much stick it wasn't even worth thinking about.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. I can't. Not tonight"

A long pause was given before the next reply. Both felt secretly saddened, but tried their upmost to hide it.

"I've gone and put my foot in it haven't I?" Eddie muttered - partly to himself and partly to Rachel.

"No! Of course not!" she assured, quickly. _Very_ quickly. "I'm just busy tonight, that's all. I'd love to go out with you any other night, though."

Jumping to conclusions, Eddie ignorantly dismissed the hint _I'd love to go out with you_, and began a panicked questioning spree.

"Busy? With who? Got a secret boyfriend I should know about?"

_I wish_.

Inevitably, Rachel couldn't help but detect a strong sense of jealousy in Eddie's voice. It made her stomach tingle with affection. Butterfly's had began to flutter their wings inside her ribcage.

_But why is he so jealous?_

"No, no, no. There's no mysterious boyfriend lurking around in my closet." Eddie inwardly breathed a huge sigh of relief. "It's just... my sister's coming round tonight. You know, for a girly night in. That sort of thing."

Lying - to Rachel - had almost become a second nature, especially when it came down to Eddie. But, this fact never helped with the overwhelming sense of guilt she received with the pang in her chest afterwards.

"Oh right," replied Eddie defeatedly, though he was much more settled in the knowledge that her plans weren't taken up by some handsome, dark horse which she hadn't mentioned to him. A girly night in with her sister was nothing for him to get bitter over.

"Anyway..." Rachel felt the need to change the subject. Things hadn't gotten awkward, but she really didn't feel comfortable with dragging this conversation out for as long as it possibly could. "How's your holidays been?"

* * *

Eddie and Rachel stayed on the phone for an extra hour, basically talking about everything and nothing. It left a real, genuine smile on Rachel's face. A real, genuine smile that was instantly wiped as she hung up the phone to check her emails on her laptop.

_1 new email. Receiver: unknown. _

Hesitantly, Rachel hovered the mouse over to click on the open email button.

_Rachel... Amanda... whatever you're called..._

_Hi. It's Tess, and tomorrow's your lucky day. Remember our little arrangement - £5,000 in return for me keeping your little secret quiet? There's a good headmistress. I'm sure Stuart will be more than happy that you've gone along with our plan, as will your little friends at school. I'll meet you at the entrance of Waterloo Road; 4 o'clock sharp. Be there, or else. _

Swallowing hard, Rachel shut the lid of her laptop frustratedly. She was like a puppet; being controlled, taking demands. Tess and Stuart were towered above her, pulling on her strings; the grand puppet masters. More like con merchants...

_What am I going to do?_

Burying her head in her hands, Rachel huffed determinedly. She had made up her mind. Tess was _not_ going to be getting her money tomorrow. Oh no, Rachel Mason does _not_ take demands from anyone. Especially not from scum like Stuart Hordley. She was no longer Amanda Fenshaw - the scared seventeen year old that only did what she was told because she had to. Rachel now had choice. And she chose to not give into him. She _wouldn't_ give them what they wanted. To hell with the consequences. Rachel would even go to the police if she had to.


	17. Chapter 17

**Please don't hate me for this... Thank you for the comments though regardless xD**

**Part 17**

For the middle of the afternoon, the sky was looming dark. Rain lashed down from the heavens, dripping down onto the base of the umbrella Rachel had put up especially to shield herself from getting wet. But she really didn't see the point. After a night of no sleep whatsoever, she was sure she looked an absolute state. The bags under her eyes made her look at least ten years older than she actually was, and her choice of clothing was nothing special - just jeans and a hoodie with her favourite black coat worn on top to keep herself warm. She dreaded to think what anyone passing would have thought of her. She didn't have any make-up on, and her hair hung naturally down past her shoulders - she hadn't even straightened it.

Stood outside the school she held so dear to her, Rachel looked around for any forms of life. The roads were empty and eerily quiet. It caused her stomach to summersault at the thought; she was all alone with no one to turn to. All the kids would be out somewhere, enjoying their holidays whilst she conversed herself into something she'd much rather not. But she didn't have a choice. Suddenly, as if from nowhere, a black BMW jeep turned down the road leading up to the Waterloo Road estate and stopped just before her feet. Rachel swallowed hard, knowing exactly who was in the vehicle even though the windows were tinted black, blocking her view of peering inside.

Holding her breath, Rachel watched on edge as Tess effortlessly exited the car through the passenger seat, shutting the door softly in her wake. This confirmed Rachel's worst fears. If Tess wasn't driving the car, _someone_ was. _Someone_ who could, in fact, be Stuart Hordley.

"Amanda," Tess addressed as she walked over to meet Rachel by the steel gates of the school, prompting Rachel to curse her under her breath. _My name is __**not**__ Amanda_. "I didn't think you'd show."

Bravely, Rachel smirked. She was treading on very thin ice here. If she put one foot out of place, everything could come crashing down on her. The last thing she needed right now was even more stress. It was bad enough her not giving Tess the money in the first place; she at least had to try and break it to her gently.

"Truth be told Tess, I didn't think I would either..." replied Rachel honestly, though Tess just dismissed the comment all together. She batted her now wet hair from the rain down with her left hand, whilst tapping her right foot down on the ground below impatiently.

"So, you've got the money then?" she questioned forcefully. It seemed that Tess stepped just that little bit closer to Rachel with each word she used.

"Tess..." Rachel stopped just as Tess did. She was stood right in front of her now, threatening Rachel's personal space as she glared menacingly into her face. "Tess... I don't have the money..."

A small gasp escaped Tess' lips as she stepped back disbelievingly, just as Rachel's back hit against the railing of the gates. She couldn't help but sigh inwardly with relief - Tess hadn't freak out. Well, not _yet_ anyway.

"You haven't got the money?" repeated Tess quietly, her face washed white. Stunned was an understatement to what she was at that precise moment; it seemed Tess wasn't used to not getting her own way.

"No I haven't Tess."

Rachel waited for a reaction, yet Tess remained routed to the spot. This was worse than what she could've ever expected. Why didn't she just lash out? She'd much prefer it that way. At least she'd know how Tess was feeling.

"You're lying."

Rachel creased her brow. She wasn't making any sense.

"I can assure you Tess, I'm not," she whispered.

"Your not?"

Tess' voice was low and full of rage, waiting to explode from out of her. Rachel could see it in her eyes, she always could. Just a simple nod from Rachel was all it took for Tess to completely loose it. She viciously grabbed the umbrella from out of Rachel's hand and threw it down onto the now puddled floor with such force, that the frame of it collapsed completely. It was ruined, that was for sure. Rachel was now worried that that wouldn't be the only thing ruined by the end of the day.

"Give me the money!" Tess yelled, her face now turning red with anger. Rachel felt her head pound at what was yet to come. "Amanda... sorry _Rachel_..." Tess had softened her tone slightly, desperation was clear in her voice. "Please don't play games with me. I know you have it, because I know you..."

"No, you don't!" Rachel sneered.

"Well, at least I did anyway. And if I know you as well as I think I do, I know the last thing you want to happen is for all them in there," Tess pointed towards the school. "to find out about your little secret. You'd be left with nothing if they knew. An ex-prostitute running a school? It simply can't happen. Once a whore, always a whore. Remember?"

"Tess stop it," Rachel begged quietly.

She was now soaking wet with the rain without her umbrella to keep her sheltered. The last thing she wanted to do was remember her days as Amanda. It pained her too much. The rumours, the assumptions, the comments. She knew she wouldn't be able to cope with it all over again. Not here. Not at Waterloo Road.

"Then give me the money," Tess tried hopelessly.

"I can't."

"It's not as if you can't afford it!" Tess scoffed. "You must have _some_ money saved up from back in the day... and don't even bother telling me your job doesn't pay. Head teachers are on at least 25 grand a year! I'm sure you can spare 5!"

"Read my lips: You're. Not. Having. _My_. Money!"

Nodding, Tess stepped away from Rachel and walked over towards the door of the driver in the jeep. Rachel's heart jumped into her mouth as the car door opened. There stood a tall, dark, handsome man with a menacing grin plastered onto his face.

"Amanda."

Rachel found herself falling even further into the railings. Her heart was beating at a hundred miles an hour. Her limbs were shaking with nerves.

"Go away, Stuart!" she warned, her voice choked through the fear. "I mean it! Leave me alone!"

Just the sight of his face turned her stomach. The memories she had of that man were regaining at a fast pace. She thought she would've forgotten by now, but it seems that task was easier said then done.

"I _will_ leave you alone..." Stuart reasoned. "I'm just here to collect what's rightfully mine, and then I'm gone."

Tess hovered behind her fiancé, watching the dread fill her former best friend's body. Stepping closer to Rachel, Stuart smirked as a single tear streamed down her face, mingling with the rain drops that had already collected there. She was cracking - all thanks to him.

"Stuart, I'm sorry. I haven't got your money," she whispered.

"But we agreed Friday?"

"I know, I know."

"It's not good enough!" he yelled.

It didn't take much for his darker side to begin to show through. Rage seeped from his features as he grabbed Rachel by the shoulders and kept a firm hold on them as they carried on with their conversation.

"This is blackmail," Rachel warned softly, careful not to wind him up anymore than she already had done. She was terrified of the consequences. "You could go back to prison..."

"This isn't blackmail, at all?" replied Stuart, matching her tone of voice. "We need the money, and you need a job. It's simply really. We're just helping each other out."

Already, Rachel knew she'd lost. You can't win against a man as ruthless as Stuart Hordley. It's impossible. By next week, everyone would know about about her past... and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

_Or was there? _

Quickly, without thinking rationally, Rachel kicked his ankle with all the force she could possibly muster, causing him to release her shoulders and tend to his injury.

"What the hell!?" he spat, rubbing his now throbbing ankle with his hand, glaring up at the women who'd caused it.

"Stuart, baby. Are you alright?" asked Tess concernedly, rushing to her fiancé's side.

He brushed her hand from off his shoulder and ordered her to go back into the car. Rachel knew this wasn't a good sign. Once Tess had obeyed Stuart's demands, they were both left alone in the pouring rain. It was a recipe for disaster. Rachel had no one to save her now.

Regaining posture, Stuart stood up tall and grabbed Rachel by the throat. She felt her head become faint as she swallowed the ever-growing lump in the back of her throat as best she could.

"Money! Now!" he ordered, his voice ringing through Rachel's ears.

"No," was all she managed to say before he released her throat and smacked her clean across the face.

Clutching her redraw cheek, Rachel let out a sob yet no tears fell. The burning sensation rushing through the side of her face was only a taster of what she yet to come. She was sure of it. When she was seventeen, Amanda had been on the receiving end of Stuart's anger plenty of times. And it never just stopped at a slap.

"Stop it... please... I'm begging you..."

Nothing else was said before Stuart threw Rachel fiercely against the railings, accidentally catching her stomach on the way. She screamed out in pain as a stabbing feeling shot through her middle. Doubling over in pain, tears began to trickle down her face. Her worst nightmare was coming true.

_This can't be happening. This can't be happening. _

"Amanda!" Stuart hissed down to her, concern displayed in his voice; but not for her. It was for him. He could be put back in prison if anyone had just witnessed what'd happened - minus Tess, of course.

"My... name's... Rachel..." Rachel wheezed through deep breaths.

The pain was so excruciating that her legs had buckled over from underneath her. She clutched at her stomach, crying, as Stuart cowered away back towards his car. Before she could even registered it, he got in and drove off, revving his engine loudly in his wake. Leaving Rachel alone and in pain, lay outside on the ground of her beloved school in the pouring rain. Nobody was around - just her. The intense gripe in her stomach began to wear off after a while, as she closed her eyes to block it all out... To block out everything.


	18. Chapter 18

**Thank you for commenting! :)**

**Part 18**

_White walls. Four of them. Closing in on me. I can't breathe... I can't breathe... "Help!?"_

Rachel's eyes shot open, focusing to the drastic change in light.

_It was just dream. _

It wasn't, not really.

Once her eyes had adjusted, Rachel's surroundings became much more clearer. She was in hospital. Cautiously casting a look down at her body, she soon realised the hospital gown that had miraculously made its way onto her body. The thin sheets of the hospital bed she occupied were tucked up to just past her hips; she couldn't help but adjust them slightly to make herself feel more comfortable. Not that she felt comfortable in herself... she didn't. She felt empty, and in some strange sense, she now was. Unbeknown to Rachel, she had actually _been_ pregnant. She wasn't anymore. Stuart Hordley had ripped that chance away from her; the chance she had been unwilling to take in the first place, but now it had gone, a never-ending sense of sadness had began to course its way throughout her body.

She'd miscarried.

She'd failed a child she'd never have the joy of bringing into the world.

She'd lost a life that she'd never be so privileged in meeting.

Tears began to involuntary stream down her face, but she didn't bother wiping them away. She was sure there'd be more yet to come. She'd have to grieve for this baby in her own way, in her own right, in her own time. But even the word _baby_ sent unwelcome shivers down her spine. If she'd have considered for just one second that she actually _was_ pregnant, there was no way she would've gone to meet Tess unprotected. She knew that now.

_How stupidly ignorant can one person be? _

97% of the time, pregnancy tests are correct. After all, the whole purpose of them is for you to find out whether you were pregnant or not. How could Rachel seriously think she'd be classed as the 3% - the minority - of women who's pregnancy test results come out wrong first time? Gosh, she was sounding even more like Eddie by the day. Percentages? Really?

Squirming in the bed, Rachel took a sharp intake of breath. Not only did she have mental pain to deal with, but physical too. Carefully dabbing at her ribs, Rachel winced. They felt bruised, badly, and her stomach was sore to touch. But that was to be expected. You don't come out of a scuffle like the one she had been involved in unscarred. It simply didn't happen.

The ceiling was low in the ward she had been put in, causing the lights to hang just a foot or so above her head. The constant blinking and flashing of it was starting to get on her nerves. Shaking, Rachel sat upright as best she could in bed, breathing through the pain with gritted teeth as she reached over towards the side table beside her bed to pick up the glass of water a nurse had left for her to drink. It seemed an impossible task, one she knew there was no point in trying a second time.

Falling back into the bed and the little comfort that came with it, Rachel's heart jumped at the shock of who had silently crept up into her ward seconds earlier.

"Hey."

Settling a hand up to her chest as if to soothe her pounding heart, Rachel gave a faint, forced smile to the man hunched over beside her bed. Eddie stood there with a pained expression on his face, looking exactly the same as he always did dress wise, but Rachel couldn't help but notice the slight dimness in his eyes that were usually so full of life.

"Eddie," she addressed, her voice still chocked from her earlier sobs.

Cautiously, Eddie advanced closer towards the bed, taking in her tearstained face and sighing a little. He couldn't believe this was happening, not to them. It just didn't feel right. It honestly didn't.

"How are you?" he asked gently, settling himself down to sit on the empty chair to the left of her bedside.

"Brilliant!" came the strained, sarcastic response.

"Ok, stupid question," murmured Eddie, watching pitifully as she rolled her eyes at him. They were glistening over with tears, causing his heart to snap in two. Rachel's already had hours before.

"I see you haven't lost your sense of humour," he chuckled lightly though it was the last thing he wanted to do.

Receiving a slight curl of the lips from Rachel, Eddie ducked his head to rest his eyes in his lap. He was lost for words, knowing that anything he said to her would be taken with a pinch of salt. This was Rachel after all, and he knew she'd take little comfort in his reassurance. The thought of her obvious heartbreak made the lump of regret in his throat rise higher, suppressing his ability to speak.

"Oh, Rachel." He found his voice within an instant as he saw a single tear stream down her face. It took all the willpower within him to not reach out and wipe it away himself, knowing Rachel would be less than happy to have someone do that for her, let alone him. "What're we gonna do with you, eh?"

"I don't know," replied Rachel's honest yet shaking voice. She sighed deeply through her nose before pressing on with what had bewildered her in the first place. "How did you know I was here? I thought you'd be out enjoying yourself. It is the holidays, after all."

"Tom called. Him and Davina were having a walk by the school when they saw you with a man and a women. They said it looked like you were being mugged. You were almost unconscious by the time they got to you. Apparently you were asking after me?"

Closing her eyes for a second to let the information wash over her, Rachel couldn't help but let a small gasp escape her lips. Tom and Davina had seen what happened. This would help keep Tess and Stuart away from her if she had something she could put against them in a court. That was a glimmer of hope that would help her see this through.

"Forget about them, Eddie," she said, after a pause. "They're not worth fretting about."

"Who were they?" he questioned, anger present in his tone. He couldn't seem to help it. However these people were, they were scum to him. Hurting Rachel? That was a new low.

"Eddie, can you just leave it!?" she snapped. This was the last thing on her mind right now, but, she knew that if she didn't answer him soon, he wouldn't stop until he received what he believed was meant to be rightly said to him. "They were just angry parents!"

The lie she told was harmless, she thought. He wasn't to know any different. It would shut him up for the time being though.

"What!? Parents that were so angry it gave them the right to make you loose your baby?" he raged, trying but failing to keep his voice level to a minimum. Of course he wasn't angry at Rachel, he just felt that whoever it is was who'd caused this grief deserved to pay for it one way or another.

"Eddie, they didn't know I was pregnant!" Rachel protested, going against her own beliefs and protecting the two people she despised most in the world. But it just came hurling out of her mouth before she could stop it.

"Yes Rachel, that may be true. But they intentionally set out to hurt you! That in itself is unforgivable!"

The rage drained from Eddie's face as he finally realised that shouting the odds was doing nothing to calm the situation. It was just making matters worse, and Rachel's obvious distress was becoming more clear to him. A brief silence passed between the pair as Eddie gently reached his hand out to clasp over Rachel's smaller one, offering her his support. He'd help her get through this no matter what. Eddie inwardly breathed a sigh of relief as she decided not to pull her hand away as he'd first feared. She just looked up at him with sorrow eyes, prompting him to speak.

"I didn't even know you were pregnant," he admitted, even though they both already knew that this were true. Taking a deep breath, Eddie was careful selecting the words for his next sentence. "The baby, ... was it... was it mine?"

Nodding lightly, Rachel closed her eyes, silently admitting up to her deceit.

"I'm so sorry, Eddie," she cried, tears streaming down her cheeks as she attempted to hide her face with her free hand. "_I_ didn't even know I was pregnant."

"But you took a test?"

Eddie was careful not to push Rachel even more further than she probably already felt. He had to keep his tone soft and gentle in order to receive the answers they both knew he deserved.

"Yeah, I did," Rachel admitted defeatedly, knowing she had a lot of explaining to do. "And when it came back positive, I freaked. I'm Rachel Mason. I poured coffee over a cactus on my first day at Waterloo Road because it cut my hand on it."

Pausing to catch a look Eddie's way, Rachel was relieved to find nothing but a fond smile at the memory displayed on his face. He remember how scary he had found her that first day, and suddenly found himself shocked as to how far they had come since then. It had only been six months since that fateful day, yet the time between had happened in the blink of an eye.

"Eddie, that poor, poor plant was a living thing!" Rachel continued, her breathing becoming more erratic. "How on earth would I have been able to cope with a baby? That takes huge responsibility! Who's to say I wouldn't have done the same to the baby as to what I did to that plant? That was _our_ baby, Eddie. You'd never forgive me if I did something like that!"

Eddie and Rachel both knew how dramatic she was being, but it voiced Rachel's opinion loud and clear. She wouldn't have been able to cope with a baby, not on her own anyway. Sensing this, Eddie squeezed her hand more tightly around his own and began speaking in a reassuring manner.

"Rachel, you wouldn't have had to deal with this on your own. You would've had me."

"Yes, I know that! But I convinced myself the test was wrong, Eddie," Rachel further explained. "I didn't want to be pregnant so I though that... I thought..." Rachel's voice faltered. Just thinking about how idiotic she had been made her stomach twist sideways. "I thought that if I ignored the problem for long enough, it would simply just go away. I always knew in the back of my mind that there was a possibility I _might_ have been pregnant, but I couldn't let myself believe the test was true. I convinced myself that there was nothing wrong with me. I was fine... I wasn't preg... pregnant..."

Unable to stop the sobs for much longer, Rachel let out what she'd been keeping in throughout the whole conversation. Instinctively, Eddie released Rachel's hand and stood from his chair, opening up his arms for her to fall into, which she did instantly. Burning her face in the crook of his neck, Rachel let the sobs control her body. She was going to have to let this out sooner or later, even if it did mean soaking Eddie's shoulder in the process.

Eddie himself rested his chin on the top her head, doing everything in his power to not crumble in front of her. It wasn't just her baby she had lost. It was his too, and that fact alone caused a stray tear to fall down his face. There went yet another child he had failed. It was as though he was jinxed. First Stephen and now the miscarriage? It seemed anything good in his life turned to ashes.

_Karma_.

It was the only thing Rachel's could think of as Eddie hung onto her tighter, comforting her shaking frame against his own. She knew this was all her fault. How could it not be? She didn't even want this baby in the first place. Someone up there really had it in for her. Maybe, once she'd put her mind to it properly, having a baby may not have been such a bad thing. Maybe she could've learned to live with the idea... you never know, she may have even grown to like it.

Torturing herself with such wishful thoughts did nothing to help Rachel. She didn't want her baby, but now it had gone... she wanted it back. It felt as though part of her had gone with it.


	19. Chapter 19

**Here's the next update. I'm a little mean with leaving it there... sorry... :)**

**Part 19**

Two hours later, as the clock neared 8 o'clock in the evening, Rachel was ready to be discharged. Eddie had stayed by her side throughout the whole time; comforting her and _himself_ that everything would be fine.

_But would it? _

Once Rachel had changed out of her hospital gown and back into her normal clothes, Eddie assisted her into his car, muttering something inaudible under his breath at how inconsiderate the NHS were sending her home at his time of night.

"Eddie?"

Breaking through his chain of thought, Rachel smiled at him faintly as she lowered herself into the passenger seat of his car.

"Thank you for this," she whispered gratefully, leaning over to where he sat beside her in the drivers seat to press a gentle kiss to his cheek.

"It's okay," replied Eddie with a blush. His cheek was tingling, though he'd never dare to admit it. "Come on. Let's get you home."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the car arrived abruptly outside Rachel's house. Eddie sat there for a second, marvelling at how big it actually was. He'd never visited Rachel at her home before, and was shocked at the fact that it had three floors, especially when she lived there all alone.

"Here we are," he announced, turning in his seat to find Rachel fast asleep beside him, her head resting lazily against the window as she cradled her hands in her lap.

She looked so peaceful, as if she didn't have a care in the world. _If only that were true._ Not having the heart to wake her, Eddie quietly padded out of his seat and walked around to the other side of the car where she was sleeping. He gently opened the car door and retrieved her house keys from her coat pocket. After successfully opening the front door, he went back to the car and lifted Rachel out of her seat, carrying her back into the house. Not once did she stir, indicating to him that this sleep was much need.

* * *

Flickering her eyes open for what felt like the a hundredth time that day, Rachel awoke to find herself in her own bedroom, tucked up in her quilt with a note left by her side on the bedside table. Straining her body upright on the mattress, Rachel reached out to read the note, holding it within her grasp.

_I'm in the spare room. Didn't want to wake you. E x_

Discarding it onto the floor, Rachel used all the strength in her body to heave herself up out of bed. Her still slightly wet clothes hung to her body, making it near impossible for her to move. Deciding she'd be best changing, Rachel removed her sodden clothes and exchanged them for her pyjamas, keeping herself warm with the protection from her thick, wooly dressing gown. Just as she was about to enter her hallway, Rachel caught glimpse of herself in the mirror, causing her to turn her whole body back around to observe her full appearance.

The sight of herself caused the emptiness to grow in the pit of her stomach. Her face looked aged, and wrinkled; her eyes dull, and lifeless. Cautiously, Rachel reached out to place a stretched hand over her stomach where her baby once was four hours earlier, still kept in sight of the mirror. Nothing felt any different - quite like how it didn't feel any different when she actually _was_ pregnant - all the evidence that remained of her baby was the slight tenderness around her womb area. Besides that, she was left with nothing.

Guilt was something Rachel has always felt hard to deal with. It can consume you if you let it. It can take over your every last thought. As Rachel studied her appearance, an unbearable, overwhelming sense of guilt shuddered through her body. All of this was her fault, there was no denying that. This baby was gone, yet here she still remained. It felt wrong, as though it should've been the other way round.

_But it wasn't and could never possibly be. _

Tearing herself away from her reflection, Rachel proceeded on with her journey towards her spare room. Why was Eddie still here? Hadn't he helped her enough? Knocking soundly on the door twice, Rachel waited for a moment before Eddie arrived in the doorway; smiling sheepishly, his eyes as glazed over as hers.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Can I come in?"

Nodding, Eddie pulled the door back further and watched as Rachel entered the spare room. She carefully took a seat at the edge of the bed, tightening the cord of her dressing gown around her as Eddie clicked the door shut behind them, turning to face the women sat right in front him.

"You fell asleep," Eddie explained plainly, realising she was probably wondering how she'd gotten up to bed in the first place. "I carried you in from the car."

"Right," replied Rachel, closing her eyes for a second whilst forcefully rubbing her throbbing forehead. "I'm not meaning to sound rude or anything... but, why are you still here?"

This was a matter that confused Eddie, also. He felt the urge to stay and look after this broken women - after all, he was partly the cause of her anguish - but an explanation as to why just couldn't form on his lips.

"I didn't want to leave you on your own."

The answer was truthful. He hated to imagine her dealing with this alone, and truth be told, he didn't think he'd be able to cope with his own grief without somebody's support. This was his child too, not that he could ever forget.

"I don't need a babysitter, Eddie," Rachel informed him sternly. "I'm a big girl now. I can look after myself."

At these words, Eddie couldn't help but wince. A slight pang in his chest alerted him to how wrong she truly was. She _did_ need looking after. If this wasn't the case, would she have lost their baby in the first place?

Sighing, Eddie sat himself down next to Rachel on the bed, burning his head deep into his hands.

"This is all my fault, you know," he whispered, just about loud enough for Rachel to hear.

"No, Eddie. Don't say that. It's not," Rachel assured, her voice shaking with uncertainty. "It's mine..."

"No! I'm a jinx!" he near enough exploded, his voice raised as he took his hands away from his face. "Me and kids... we just don't get on. I should know that by now! Everything I touch... it just falls apart..."

Comfortingly, Rachel placed a hand on Eddie's shoulder. It was least she could do after how well he'd dealt with her back at the hospital. Rachel could tell that his soul was probably as scarred as her own. She began to rub her hand along his shoulder, urging him to tell her what was troubling him so much.

"You said you've got kids?" she reminded him, referring him back to the conversation they'd had back when she'd took the pregnancy test more than two months ago. "Is that what all is about?"

Levelling eye line with the women beside him, Eddie felt tears prick the back of his eyes. The grief, the hurting, the down right depression. It was all coming back to him as if it were yesterday...

"Rachel, this isn't the first time I've lost a child."


	20. Chapter 20

**Sorry it has been a while since I last updated. This is my last prewritten update so it could, again, be quite a while until I update again. But I'll try to keep the time between shorter than last time! Enjoy and thank you to everyone who has read and commented so far :) **

**Part 20**

_"Rachel, this isn't the first time I've lost a child."_

Eddie's vision was now blinded with moisture. He was cracking; his voice, his strength, his posture. But he knew he couldn't keep this in for much longer.

Within those few words, Rachel felt her heart drop. She'd feared this all along from the second he'd told her he had children he was unable to see. How much heartbreak could one man take? It disbelieved her how he could think this was his fault in the first place.

"Oh, Eddie..."

"Two boys I had," he went onto say, causing Rachel to curve her mouth up slightly at the thought of two mini Eddie Lawson roaming about the place. "Stephen and Michael... they were twins."

Harshly wiping the tears that had now fell from his tear ducts, Eddie took a deep breath and carried on reliving the part of his life he secretly wished and secretly feared he could forget.

"I was married at the time. Everything was great if I'm being perfectly honest..." trailing off slightly, Eddie looked up to find Rachel still listening tentatively. This seemed like a comfort to her - knowing that he was once happy with children, knowing that she hadn't starved him of the only chance he could've ever had of becoming a father. "But then one night when they were about six months old, we put them to bed - just like we always did - and in the morning, Stephen... he was... he was gone."

"Gone?" asked Rachel quietly, hanging onto his ever word, her heart sinking down further into her chest at the possibilities of what his sentence could mean.

"He'd died, Rachel," Eddie admitted. "He went to sleep, and he never woke up."

Silence fell, as did the tears. What was there to say to that? _Nothing._ Rachel could hold him no comfort; this was already over before she knew it had even began. All she could do was listen, and reassure. Wrapping her arms around his now sobbing frame - quite like how he had done to her in the hospital hours earlier - Rachel found herself welling up at the thought.

This wasn't the first time Eddie had been through all this. She just had to pray that this was the last.

After a moment of just clinging onto each other in an effort to console one another from the grief they now shared, both pulled away from the embrace and smiled weakly, wiping away the tears from their faces.

"Sorry," Eddie chocked; his voice strangled, powerless to any sense of happiness hidden within it.

"Don't be," replied Rachel, though her meaning was meant in more ways than one. He didn't have to be sorry for _anything_ in her books.

Shuffling away from him slightly on the bed, Rachel tightened the cord of her dressing gown around her body and studied the broken man sat in front of her. Her grief felt like a scratch on the one he must be holding, yet it didn't mean it didn't hurt all the same.

"You've still got Michael though," Rachel reminded him in the hope that this could at least give him some sense of hope to hold onto. "He's still here. He still loves you."

All Rachel received was a disbelieving scoff. Creasing her brow in confusion, she nudged Eddie in the arm.

"Eddie?"

"I doubt I'll ever see Michael, again."

"What do you mean?"

Something in the pit of Rachel's stomach was telling her that things weren't quite how they seemed.

"When Stephen died... Alison, my wife... she couldn't cope. She wouldn't eat, she wouldn't sleep, she wouldn't even look after Michael..." Pausing, Eddie sighed with defeat. Telling someone something so personal to him would feel wrong if it was to anyone else other than Rachel Mason. "I think she just needed someone to blame... our little boy was gone. We were given no explanation. Not really... it was as though we were being punished for something we'd done wrong in the past... So, she did the natural thing and blamed me..."

Seeing how much this was killing him, Rachel reached out and placed a hand over Eddie's. Without words, he knew what she was trying to say. This wasn't his fault; if only he could see it that way.

"Alison kicked me out... I was barred from my own home, kept away from my own son..." Breathing heavily, Eddie covered his face in the palm of his free hand. If more tears fell, they were hidden. "I wasn't even allowed to attend my own son's funeral. I mean... that's the kind of monster she thought I was..."

"Eddie!" Rachel warned, squeezing his hand forcefully. "You're not a monster..."

"You try telling Alison that!" Eddie spat, removing his hand from his face before softening down his tone. This wasn't Rachel's fault; he'd do well to remember that. "Anyway, to cut a long story short, Alison sent me through a divorce and got herself a new boyfriend... He was called Steve, ironically. Six months after the divorce came through, she told me they were moving, talking Michael with them... I'd seen him all of three times since his brother died... He probably recognised Steve as his dad more than he did me..."

"Eddie, I doubt that very much. He's your son," Rachel interrupted.

"He was a year old, Rachel. Do you think you recognised your father at that age?"

Shaking her head sadly, Rachel closed her eyes for a second before beginning to speak again.

"Where did they move to?"

"America," said Eddie simply, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. But the pangs in his chest were suggesting to him otherwise. "They took my one year old son to America, and I haven't spoken to them since... Michael would be six by now."

Taking a moment to let the truth wash over her, Rachel removed her hand from Eddie's and began to run it through her hair nervously.

"America's not that far away, Eddie," she tried hopelessly. "You could hop on a plane over there easy... Easy, Eddie. Visiting your son isn't as hard as you think."

"Isn't it?" he questioned rhetorically. "I'd love to do nothing more than to just 'hop on a plane over there' and visit my son, but I can't do that Rach. Alison left me no address. She just went and took my son. She changed her mobile number and everything."

"You have rights, don't you? Father's rights?"

Rachel was becoming desperate. There was always a solution to everything in her mind. It felt as though this time things were a little different. And she didn't like it.

"There'd be no point trying to track them down. Why should I? Michael must be happy wherever he is. He's got a mummy and a daddy who love him to pieces. Why should I get involved with that after 5 whole years of nothing?"

Cradling her face in her hands, Rachel scowled with disbelief.

"You've got to at least _try_, Eddie!"

"I said no, Rachel!" he yelled firmly. _No_ was all he could take.

"But Eddie - "

"No!" Eddie cut Rachel off before she even got the chance to explain herself. "Can we just leave it, please? It's none of your business anyway..."

That last remark left Rachel wounded, yet more determined than ever. Eddie Lawson was a puzzling man at the best of times but now, she was completely and utterly lost. The son he obviously loved more than anything else in the world was within his reach if he wanted him to be. Why give up? Why let a child go unloved by a parent? The thought made her head go dizzy.

"Ok," Rachel replied weakly. "I'm sorry for... interfering."

"Right."

All dusted under the carpet, _right_? Not if Rachel Mason had anything to do with it it wouldn't.


End file.
